Monday, October 13, 2014

Brave Girl

We all know that bravery is not defined by the lack of fear, but rather by moving forward despite the fear.  Or in the case of a sweet four year old girl, by sitting perfectly still and allowing techs to stick a needle in her arm yet again.  This girl does not let doctor stuff bother her.  She is a perfect patient.  Calm, compliant,  she is able to follow instructions that make her doctors jobs easier.  As I mentioned before, when we went for the first blood draw last Monday she watched with curiosity and no fuss.  We went back on Friday for part two.  It did not go so well.  Despite her easy nature, it is very difficult to find a vein with her. I very much appreciate the fact that the techs listen when I tell them she is hard, but even the best intentions don't always translate to success and such was the case on Friday.  The first attempt she didn't flinch, even when they slid the needle in an out and around to try and find that tiny thread of a vein.  The second attempt was okay with a little whimper with the probing needle.  The third attempt she held it together until they started moving that needle again and then we had some whimpers and almost held back tears.  Three pokes and we walked away with no blood and having to come back again.
 So when we went back today it is no surprise that when the tech put on her gloves Reagan looked at me with a face so pathetic I wanted to pick her up and run out of there.  But she did not cry.  She did not fight.  She did not flinch.  In went the needle and then it missed the vein again.  The poor tech could feel it and every time she tried to slide the needle back in it would move.  And Reagan ducked her head and whimpered.  Then we prepped for take two.  The tech put the tourniquet back on and again Reagan gave us a looks that clearly said she did not want to be there.  The tech told her she was only putting it on for a minute and wasn't going to poke her and Reagan told her "okay" with a catch in her voice.  Then the second tech came over to confirm the vein (which in classic Reagan form didn't run straight, but rather diagonally across her arm).  When they prepped the second needle we finally got tears, but she still put her arm out and repeated "squeeze it" for making a fist.  She didn't move except to tuck her head and hide her tears.  And when they got the vein and cheers erupted she cheered along with them and immediately stopped crying...she knew the worst was over.  I am blown away by her strength and bravery in the face of fearing the pain.  But even more than that I am humbled because I know that the only reason she sat so still and didn't fight is that she trusted me.  She couldn't know that the blood draw was important, couldn't understand the concept that it is for her own good.  She just had to trust that if Mommy told her to do it then she would do it.  May I always be so worthy of her trust!  Brave, strong girl!  Mama is so proud of you!

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