Lazy Days and Toothy Giggles

 I know, I know.  I haven't updated in forever.  I have no good excuse.  Well that may not be strictly true.  See my brain...its not really working right now.  I thought Memorial day was last Monday.  I thought my dad's birthday (Happy Birthday Papa) was next Monday.  I can't keep anything straight.  Why?  Well I could plead lack of sleep since Reagan still seems to think that waking up many times a night is the what all the energetic girls are doing these days.  But that's not really the case (though I am still tired, especially after the last two nights).  Pure and simple, I am still adapting to the new normal.  Not having to remember sixteen million (more or less) appointments to go to, and not having to worry about Reagan's health has left me lazy and unable to remember anything at all.  Not that I'm complaining!  But I really need to get my wits about me again :)  As for Reagan's health....the cardiologist said she looks great and will see her in six months.

 She is getting properly fat and is weighing in at 10 pounds 9 oz now.  As for these last two sleepless nights....you'd think I was a first time mom not figuring this one out (here I will plead lack of sleep foggy brain).  Symptoms:  Waking up MANY time a night to nurse, but not actually eating anything, just sucking.  Chewing on anything in sight from my knuckles to her toes.  Fussiness all day today with no real naps.  And then theres this.

And I realized the problem...baby girl is getting a tooth!  I have tried to tell all my girls not to get teeth.  Really the toothless grin is so cute and when you get teeth you have to brush them and go to the dentist.  But alas my toothless baby is growing up anyway.  Despite her discomfort, she always has a smile for me when I play with her.

 And for those of you who unlucky enough not to have met this charmer, here is a little video of her precious giggle and her newest skill.."talking"

The Bad, the Good and the Messy

Could someone please tell my baby that waking mommy up 6 times a night is not a good thing for mommy's health?  It really isn't.  Lack of sleep leaves mommy vulnerable to nasty things like mastitis.  Not Fun.  At All.  I dragged myself out of bed to take Reagan it the pediatrician this morning and then came back home and went back to bed until her PT came.  She decided to join me after mommy forced :) her to nurse.

 I am still sore, but feeling better now, but this is the second time I've had mastitis with this baby and it is the worst feeling in the world!  On a happy note, Reagan's pediatrician is very pleased with her weight gain and doesn't care to see her for six weeks!!!  She had her blood draw for her thyroid yesterday and they managed to get a vein of the first try!  And her thyroid numbers were fine so if we get an all clear from the cardiologist next week I don't know what I'll do with all the free time :)  Her pediatrician told me today that he has a small enough practice that he can mentally keep track of his critical patients all the time and "she is dropping off that list, I don't think about her anymore".  Basically baby girl has become blessedly boring :)  She has finally achieved the 10 pound mark and is ready according to her doctor and her physical therapist (and mommy's research) to start trying some cereal.

 She thinks its a good idea too and tried to grab the spoon and put it in her own mouth.  She also thinks its good fun to hold her bottle with her feet.  Silly adorable girl.

Sweet Sentiments

I made this cake as a thank you to my parents Tuesday night Bible study for the collection they took for us while we were in the hospital for Reagan's surgery.

 I am posting is here as a virtual treat for all of you who I can't actually bake a cake for.  I would if I could!  But be assured that I do pray thankfully for each and every one of you who I know has been supporting us through your gifts and prayers.  Now for that list of stuff to do this week.  Cake...check.  Opthamologist....check.  Reagan still has a good report as far as her eyes go.  A little bit of shaking when she looks to the extreme sides, but the slight drift we noticed at one month is gone.  She's cleared for 6 more months.  Laundry, laundry, laundry.....check.  Hmm this week is going well.

Busy, Blessed Week

 As I was sitting here contemplating my update that (I'm sorry!) I have put off for waaaay too long, I wondered why I'm SO tired.  Then I started running through the list of what I've accomplished (good feeling) this week.  And I know why.  In addition to lack of sleep because someone still isn't sleeping even remotely close to through the night, I have been cleaning.  And I mean really, really cleaning my house.  Anyone want to come visit and admire my clean house?  It'll probably last until at least tomorrow ;)  And baking.  Cupcakes,  Thomas the Train birthday cake for a co-worker of Rafael's.

Therapy twice.

A surprise visit from Auntie Jen and Gramaria. 

Auntie Jen has a good eye for photography.

 More cupcakes. 

 Grocery store twice because I forgot important stuff like milk (which I then lost in the trunk of the car overnight) And a visit to our favorite pediatrician.  He gave Reagan a good report on her weight gain and told her to keep up the good work.  Yesterday we barbecued and caught up with friends we haven't seen since college and got to meet their adorable daughter.  And today.  Ahhh.  Easter.  Resurrection Sunday.  My second favorite church service of the year (Christmas Eve candlelight is my first in case you were wondering).  Remembering the glory that makes all the joy possible.  And my girls talking about how Jesus came back out of the hole alive and said "Ta-da".

Then hunting for the eggs the girls had so much fun coloring.  Glitter and little girls just go together :)

Really cold and drizzly for California so our picnic got a little chilly and we ran home instead of hiking like we'd planned.  Reagan neither helped with the coloring or the finding, but Mama decorated one just for her so I had to attempt a few pictures which I will now overload you with.

Up next week:  Opthomologist appointment to check Reagan's eyes, another cake, laundry, laundry laundry :)

Discouragment

 In trying to make it through the weeks before Reagan's surgery; the pumping, the anxiety, the lack of available time, I kept telling myself that after the surgery, she would be normal.  She'd go back to breastfeeding, have energy, and there would be no more doctor's appointments to run around to every other day (or so it seemed). Her surgery went so well and she came home so fast and obviously improved that I was floating above the ground with elation and a new lease on life.  My baby was healthy now.  She would grow now.  I had TIME now.  Oh what would I do with so much time....laundry?  Make cupcakes with my girls?  Oh the possibilities.

Reagan's post-op appointment with Dr. Bailey was last Monday (sorry about no updates, our internet went out for most of the week)  and he was happy with her progress.  He observed a slow heartbeat but after an EKG he said she was fine and that she just sailed through the surgery and recovery and promptly cleared her for most normal activity.  She is back at her therapy again and amazing her teacher with her new skills and determination. She showed us an impressive weight gain of over half a pound in the four days since her discharge!!!  So Dr. Bailey cleared her for exclusively nursing again.  No more fortified bottles!  Oh we were so happy!

 She was scheduled for a follow up with her cardiologist yesterday.  I was not looking forward to it because my mommy instincts were telling me that I wasn't going to come away happy.  Reagan stopped sleeping through the night so I've been super tired.  I thought she just had more energy and was getting used to her fixed heart.  Then I thought she needed extra nursing to catch up with her weight gain....but she didn't seem to be gaining much no matter how many times I nursed her.  I was right, she lost 3 oz since I cut out all the bottles.  So here we go again.  I will be nursing her and then giving her a bottle to top her off.  I will attempt to pump after nursing her so that the bottle can be my milk, but I'm not optimistic about the outcome of that since I've been struggling all along with pumping.  The good part is that she knows how to nurse and likes nursing, and now with a fixed heart she has enough energy to nurse.  For whatever reason she is not getting enough while nursing, and I am at a loss as to why.  I've never lacked in supply for any of my kids so perhaps she just doesn't get it out of me like the other girls did even though she has a great latch. 

I wasn't as happy with her heart report as I'd have liked either.  Dr. Kuhn said that her echo "looked pretty good,  there are no more holes".  Well that's good anyway :)  And he said her heart is returning to normal size...good.  And he described her heart function as "low-normal".  Wait, what does that mean?  I thought she was going to be perfect now!  In my bleary-eyed, sleep deprived state I didn't manage to clarify that any more than to ask if her condition was to be expected at this point.  He said it was and come back in a month. NOT what I was expecting.  I thought he'd say everything was great and see you in six months.  So much for my understanding of how things work.  So I left a little discouraged.

 But on the plus side with a bottle top-off Reagan woke only once last night....now if only her big sister had slept through the night.  Better luck tonight?

Counting Blessings

 Reagan fared better at the hospital than Mama did.  She came home with a fixed heart and I came home with a cold.  Colds are miserable.  They leave you feeling groggy and useless.  Like doing nothing but curling up with a good book or snuggling with your babies.  Except that snuggling with a baby right after open heart surgery isn't exactly comfortable for the baby.  And snuggling with a baby with a compromised immune system right after surgery when you have a cold is downright foolish.  So I have been left with only the joys of Jane Austen and watching my children play.  And counting my blessings.  So many blessings.  Some big and obvious and others small, but no less potent.

Reagan came home from the hospital only 36 hours after Open Heart Surgery minimizing her risk of infection. BIG blessing!
Reagan is already obviously feeling so much better, no longer sweating and panting after eating or playing and not even on any Tylenol for post-op pain any more.

Reagan is able to again nurse (enthusiastically) providing her with much needed protection against Mama's cold.  Huge blessing.
Reagan showed us her smile again today along with some new skills to show of to her therapist when she gets to resume therapy next week!

Oh boy this is going to be a long list :)

This bassinet that we never used for the other girls, but which has been perfect for keeping Reagan safe from sisters enthusiasm while being adaptable to her increasing desire to play.  A small thing that makes a big difference.

Rafael's new job only 15 minutes from home!
A church that has rallied in providing support.
Family that was there through the surgery and has open arms for all my girls.

A freezer full of food so we don't have to go shopping anytime soon.
A sweet little clip to brighten the day.

This amazing thing called the internet so that I can interact with friends even though we're isolated for a bit.
Oatmeal chocolate chip cherry cookies.
A garden that makes my mouth water when I walk through it.

Did I mention that Reagan can nurse again?  Oh yeah, and she got her giggle back!

The Power of Prayer

 We are home.  I sat down to write an update several times today, but every time I got a couple sentences typed they came in and updated our status again.  When we left last night she had not yet eaten nor had I been allowed to hold her.

The first thing our nurse said when we walked in this morning is that they were thinking of discharging us today.  And from there it was just a matter of working toward that end.  At about 2:30 Dr. Bailey came in and said is his sweet, slow manner "I've been trying to think of what we could do for Reagan here that you couldn't do better at home".  Then he listened to her heart and said in response to my statement that she looks so good "well she doesn't have any holes in her heart any more"  Then he ordered her discharge :)  Out came all the lines and monitors.

She had the best team and the best nurses and the best care. But even more than that she had the love and prayers of all of you backing her up.

 I know you all have been praying for a successful surgery and a quick recovery and as Susanna said how about that for an answer to prayer!

Now if you don't mind....don't stop.  This mama is physically and emotionally drained and we have a bit of a road ahead of us in handling a fragile Reagan and keeping her rough enthusiastic sisters from bouncing giving her too much love.